Accidental Happenings

Going through a newspaper in the morning, you are bound to come across some sort of accident coverage and, what's the chance of the accident involving people travelling on a religious cause? Pretty high, I would say. Not that I'm hinting at anything but it's quite astonishing.

There they are, a large family unit, happily rattling along with either their sins washed away or due to be washed away in a few hours time when all of a sudden, wham! the driver runs into the back of a stationary truck* or makes the vehicle jump off a cliff.

One simple rational explanation to this unfortunate development might quite easily be that people undertake long distance travels by road only when they have an appointment with the God. Pretty neat explanation, isn't it? Unless of course you happen to be a conspiracy buff who would bring in the supernatural element even before you can exclaim 'WTF'.

Since we are already on the matter of newspapers, I would like to bring to your attention an incident of crime that was reported a week or so ago, which was reminiscent of a Quentin Tarantino/ Guy Ritchie style of film making. It allegedly went something like-

The bad guy wanted to shoot the poor innocent helpless guy in order to steal some money but he didn't want to wake the neighbours. Oh! how thoughtful, but too bad he hadn't thought as much before as he had no silencer to accessorise with his gun. However, being a quick thinker, the bad guy promptly reached out for a pillow and shot through it.

Now, imagine the bad guy's surprise when the bullet (not only failed to go in a complete circle and knock 6 brains out but) couldn't even pierce the pillow. The bullet which went in never came out and thereby the poor guy was robbed only of his money and not of his life.

Was that tragic or comedic or ironic ?

p.s:- Need help with commas, they are ruining the experience of writing.

Methods that Aren't

What can an Institute do when it finds itself in the throes of economic distress. It can quite easily increase the fees and pass on the burden or, in a whole different plane of existence they can renounce all worldly possessions and continue to sit tight (pun intended).

So apart from the obvious what more can an Institute do gain some well-needed financial leverage. The following methods vary from the absurd to the true to the ones that are both

1) Every student giving a powerpoint presentation will be served an entertainment tax directly proportional to the duration of the presentation and the visual richness of the slides ranging from templates to images inserted and so on. A fixed base price is of course a must.

2) Why let all the vehicles into the campus without exacting any? Christen the entrance gate as a toll gate and make sure there aren't more than one entrances.

3) Maybe someone can look into the free unlimited web access and do something about it

4) When IPL comes to town next year, make sure to be there to collect your generous cheque

5) There's a TV show called Scrubs whose producers due to budget constraints decided to not include each protagonist in at least two of the season's episodes. Asking a couple of professors to take an unpaid leave every month might help. Of course, it is not implementable in colleges which have just the right number of professors. 

6) Instead of having a single technical cum cultural fest, a college can have two. This way more entertainment tax can be imposed. Introducing tickets for the events might also help but that might be against the very principles of having a celebration.

 7) If the college has a very well established sporting tradition with renowned trophy winning teams, sponsors for the teams' jerseys should be looked into. Football team, anyone ?

8) A college can always have a separate entrance exam and charge more than required. Getting a permission to do that might be difficult but proving that all students who come through the competitive exams aren't the right ones for upholding the ambitions of the institute might help. In fact, colleges aiming to turn their students into research scholars shouldn't participate with other run-of-the-mill degree offering and hand waving colleges.

9) Downsizing the staff might not be an option but cutting back on the number of air conditioners in a lab might help.

10) One can always go the EAMCET colleges way and put up some seats for auction.

11) A college can put up its hand and offer to train outsiders in various skills while completely turning a blind eye towards the qualms of the insiders regarding the intrusion.

12) With the sales of textbooks going down year by year due to e-books and students' apathy, it is high time a college gave away first hand books at a discount (sufficient enough to make profit both for the college and the seller).

13) A highly contentious but profitable move would be to introduce a contract where in the students when placed on campus must agree to donate some x% of their salary for their first year on the job. (Only implementable if the student goes on to take up the job acquired during the campus placements)

Time to conclude at lucky number 13. Have fun!

p.s:- With the organisers of Felicity '08 leaving, will blogging be of any essence ?

Possibly related post -> http://rauldegr8.wordpress.com/2008/08/26/rules-of-the-house-for-the-squatters-of-the-fifth-house-and-a-tag-line/

Weighty Issues

 

 

 

 

 

The other day i stumbled upon an article in the Time magazine which aspired to guide one in the science of 'how not be hated by potential friends on Facebook'. (No, I'm not going to copy paste the article.)

One among the many of "Facebook etiquette rules" was->' Stop taking quizzes. Nobody cares what literary time period you are'. I personally log onto FB not to cuddle up to potential friends and flaunt my impeccable personality and leave an impression, but to see if any of my friends have taken any interesting quizzes.

Of course, there are the self-propagating all time favorite quizzes on ones favorites but who doesn't like to share their interests and favorites. When we do that, we don't give a damn to what the others might think !, it's just all about us. It's our way of feeding our ego (which BTW is being wrongly portrayed in a very narrow and negative way in most circles). We do take some really lame quizzes like "who's your celebrity GF" and "which rock song are you" but this behaviour is much better than, not taking them due of the fear of making a bad impression on possible suitors.

In short, it's better to "be yourself and act as a jerk" rather than "pretend to be a sensitive saint". [The phrase "be yourself" has been thrown around many times that I feel like it might have robbed the chastity of the declaration and turned it into a skanky filmy line.] (I do hope that you are smart enough to realise that taking those quizzes didn't make you a jerk, it was just an expression)

------------------------------>Change of  Topic

 

I watched the palm d'or winning movie of last year "The Class" recently and was astonished at the way the student-teacher interactions were depicted. The movie shows 13 year olds refusing to do what the teacher says proclaiming "rights of expression" and "rights of freedom" and all that. I can't even begin to imagine that kind of free expressionism in our country. The students do cross the limits at times but that's not the point.

I reckon we have been corrupted ever since childhood into believing the restrictions posed on us are for our own good and that our tradition is the best in the whole wide world. There are two ways, i guess, of looking at our culture, those in favour may say it breeds discipline but the others might say it curbs our natural development. 

A typical students' life in India (not related to the above discussion or anything):-

Thrown into school even before they know how to use the toilet. Parents then proudly exhibit their childrens' talent by forcing them to recite multiplication tables and English alphabet in front of the neighbours with the sole purpose of showing how smart their child is. Boys don't even get the remark of "you throw like a girl" from their fathers. All they get is "do your homework ". Then as they grow older, the coaching institutes come along and the parents are only too happy to find a place which provides for maximum jail time. Career defining exams come, unable to cope students go.

[ I've said all that as an adult watching today's school going children. Our generation was caught up amidst this towards the fag end but we might just have escaped.]    

As someone said and my friend on Gtalk statused*-> The world is a tragedy to those who feel, but a comedy to those who think.

P.S:- No matter what you write or do, how can IPL be not on your mind. Looking at AB, the customary " whom do girls ogle at" list for IPL came out and this was what was said about AB :-

If you like the choirboy type, AB is your baby. Incidentally he does sing, and while his debut single, "Show Them Who You Are", may not be the love song you were hoping for, it will work well enough to annoy your boyfriend no end. He looks like a dream and bats like a dream, so what if he doesn't sing like one, eh, ladies? 

The others on the list were Vettori, Dravid, Mccullum, Gayle, Sangakkara, Duminy, Pujara, Lee, Steyn, Dhoni (http://content.cricinfo.com/iplpage2/content/story/398866.html)

Blogging with eyes on Twittering

Blogging is out, Twittering is in. Funnily enough, the newspaper too said that.

IPL semifinalists:- Mumbai, Chennai, Delhi. Hyderabad in the early lead for fourth.

Did you know that rap stars release an album or two and go into producing, and help others in releasing their albums? I'm too kinda helping out others with their blog posts, instead of writing my own.  

Must have IPL merchandise:- RCB's jersey of Dravid and Deccan Chargers' trendy Puma cap.

Sorry to disappoint by not writing anything. 

Ferrari's struggling big time. My twitterings on the same:-

1) Brains in ferrari left with Brawn

2) What's Kallis doing in the playing XI and moreover, why's he slated to become the captain after KP leaves. Dumb as a Ferrari, it is

3) Super kings are wasting Albie!, looks like everyone's bought a Ferrari :(

4) 140 chars are way too short on space to roll out all the Ferraris from RCB's garage

Free net, Twitter & Football

I go home, switch on the laptop and there comes a prompt saying "wireless networks are available". I had ignored this message many times before as on one occasion before all these ignorings**, I had tried my luck and not succeeded. This time, however, things turned out a bit different and i became a lucky douche* enjoying free wireless net at home.

Ok then, i've got the net but what to do with it ?, there's no DC to download stuff from. Hmm, there's at least unblocked youtube. Oh boy, this touchpad's gone cuckoo. Whenever i go to its edges, weird processes begin and the browser's ending up getting closed. Goddamn this chrome, it doesn't even warn when closing multiple tabs. Watching videos in this kind of environment ain't possible. So what next? time to check out some new sites or attend to previously unattended twitter account. Ha, twitter's quite fun, you can type-in what you would say to the person next to you while watching sports on Tv (when there's no one next to you). Reminds me of the Vodafone ads.    

Previous night:-

Everyone in the house's gone to sleep. I'm all alone and no, i don't even have internet access. It's 80 minutes past kickoff time, Liverpool are yet to beat the crossbar/posts. I get up and go sit across the room hoping for a change in fortune. 90 minutes gone, no good. At least, Babel and Benayoun are on. Can't bear this misfortune sitting down, i stand up, 2 more mins pass, and Benayoun scores. Out comes a clenched fist and a bottle bounces off the furniture at the other end. 

Next night:-

Man Utd's taking on Villa, i'm not alone and i'm not apprehensive. 2 mins into the extra time, surely no, they can't but they do! No clenched fist or bouncing bottles this time around. 

--------------------------------------------------------------X----X-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

*-> I was feeling better before i saw the literal meaning of this word. Those unaware are advised to remain that way.

**-> word doesn't exist

Song of the day-> Knocked Up- Kings of Leon 

I don't care what nobody says
We're gonna have a baby
Taking off in a coupe De ville
She buckled up on navy
She don't care what her mama said, no
She's gonna have my baby
I'm taking all i have to take
This takings gonna shape me

People call us renegade
'cause we like living crazy
We like taking on the town
Some people getting lazy

I don't care what nobody says, no
I'm going to be her lover
Always mad and usually drunk
But I love her like no other

And the doctor seems to say he don't know
Where we're gonna go?
I'm a ghost and I don't think I quite know
Where we're gonna go?
Where we're gonna go?

The Mail

"As you know people from the media, other colleges, and corporate sector are visiting our campus for the R & D showcase. Out of curiosity, they may ask you about this year's Campus Placement status. Most of you don't have an exact idea about this and so can end up in giving the wrong impression. So it is in the best interests of the Institute and students graduating in the subsequent years to answer such questions in the manner mentioned below.

Q: How are the Placements this year?

A: Just like the previous year - excellent! All the students have been placed.

Q: So placement is completed?

A: Yes, but I think the institute is thinking of doing a second round of placement in April / May to give (already placed) students better opportunities - better jobs, with better compensation.

Q: Any other questions about placement,

A: I don't about these, but I can connect you to the Placement Leads.

 

Thanks for the cooperation, and please keep in mind that current year's placement decides the success of the next year's placement. The better the public perception of the current year's placement, the better the chances of following batches' placement."

 

As they said, most of us don't have the least idea of what's the truth and how things really are. So keeping that in mind, it would be completely unfair of us to contest the mail content. What's the use, one might argue, of arguing about righteousness of the means when the end in itself is righteous. 

p.s :- The word "exact" was replaced by "least" as some of us felt that the mail was covertly hinting at this very thing, but was too polite and diplomatic/official/"responsible/mature" to say so.

The Inevitable

Didn't I ask you guys to pray for something ? Well, some of you didn't and look what has come about. You might say it provides them with an opportunity to avenge their last year's defeat but how sweet will the alleged revenge over a team who went through only because of an needless injury time OG be ?

Facing up against the team whom you have done a double over might have been more enticing. Hold on there a bit, didn't this team already do a double over the other team as well. Hmm, this team simply looks unstoppable. Anyway, the other team can be dealt with at the final but then losing to a better team in a final wouldn't be as humiliating to them as losing both home and away in a quarter final or even in a semi for that matter.

Now then, why am I even assuming that the other team will go to the final? It is true that the four teams in that part of the draw could so easily have been accommodated in the same group in the opening round but still, they have to get past them right. It is not as if they dealt their die-hard rivals a 4-1 drubbing at the away game. In fact, losing to one of these teams might be even more harder to digest.

Coming back to the match set up due to lack of co-operation from you people, it shouldn't be all that bad. Both teams look to have come alive in the recent past and the return of a certain Ghanaian might make the tie a bit more balanced than the BPL ties. The draw does make the path easy for the other team to reach consecutive finals but it also has chalked up a cracking lower half.

So whichever way you may look at it and whichever team you support, CL has once again shown why it just can't disappoint anyone.

p.s:- Teams' names are redundant for the fan

p.s2:- However I admit they would have helped

Buen Trabajo Rojos

Dud-> Do you know why's football back here?  

Dude-> No man, i can't bear the suspense. Please don't keep me waiting any longer, please... please... por favor

Dud-> You know how much i hate drama. Corta el rollo

Dude-> Cut the crap in Spanish, huh. I won't even point out the irony there

Dud-> Football's here because the other blog doesn't facilitate the posting of more than one image per page

Dude-> I can't believe i've been living my life without knowing that. If you'll excuse me now, i need to go and get a life 

Dud->That guy's simply unbelievable. Sus comentarios estaban cargados de sarcasmo

 


 

Liverpool have at long last begun to justify their ranking as the top team in European club football. With the Spanish national team winning the Euro, it would be only a matter of following it up if Liverpool are to win the CL (Barca might have a point if they say they are more Spanish, but we all know they ain't got a chance).  

 



Rafa is blamed for every point dropped and every goal not scored. So with the goals pouring in, shouldn't Rafa be praised even a wee bit ?  (was searching for his huge flag to put up actually, but couldn't find it)



Torres looks rejuvenated and a torrid Manchester United defense made him look all the more so. May be it was the other way round, the defense were made to look torrid by Torres

 



Gerrard leading from the front. How many times have we seen that? I'm tired of that cliche too



Aurelio looked like a tidy school boy in that hair style of his, and that free-kick was exactly that- Tidy and accurate 



Alonso was missing from action due to injury. The last time this happened, Liverpool won 5-1 at St. James'. Don't fool yourself, they also crashed to humiliating draws without him and with the help of Mr.Lucas

[The pictures have been nicely symmetric thus far only because i copied all of these from a single site. Hope the guy doesn't get pissed off if ever he comes across this blatant disregard for copyright]

 



No matter how convincing the score line, Rafa's team are not in serious contention for the premiership yet again. He may be a brilliant tactician in European games but he has come a cropper time after time in domestic competitions. Don't give the excuse of the unavailability of a strong squad. He has had plenty of time to strengthen it but he has just messed up his transfer calls.  Just look at the whole Robbie Keane deal and at the thought of bringing in Barry in place of Alonso. Sure he did a great job by getting him here in the first place and winning the CL in his debut season but that's simply not enough.



Will he be able to do that again? I hope he does (and that too by beating Man Utd enroute) but a lot would depend on the fitness of Torres and Gerrard, and Reina keeping his head. 



p.s:- Let's pray for Chelsea not being drawn up against Liverpool. Yawn

p.s 2:- The title allegedly means "nice going reds". Rojo means red but rojos, i don't think means reds

[Tag] Top playlist

Have to enlist the top played songs but i have no substantial facts as media players are but many. Anyhoo, if ITunes is to be trusted, this is what it says about the songs played in the last couple of months:-

1) Superman - Lazlo Bane, Scrubs theme song

2) My Love - Justin Timberlake

3) Prayer of the Refugee - Rise Against

4) Killing in the Name of - Rage Against the Machine

5) King Without a Crown - Matisyahu :D

6) Amazing - Kanye West

7) 505 - Arctic Monkeys

8) Iron Man - Black Sabbath

9) Teardrop - Massive Attack, House theme song

10) Feel Good Inc. - Gorillaz

The list above, however, doesn't do justice to the albums which i listen to on wmp, like

1) Graduation - Kanye West

2) Twilight OST

3) Clerks 2 OST

4) Requeim for a Dream OST

5) Fight Club OST

6) All albums of Coldplay

Said enough i guess, it has already begun to look as an exercise in vanity.

p.s:- How about indulging in "Favorite Music Videos" next time ?

Humor on the net

A couple of funny* things i  came across while browsing. The disclaimer is nothing but just plain old sense but 'better safe than sorry', right.

Disclaimer:- Things which i find funny needn't necessarily appear funny to everyone.

Funny article 1:- Lifted with no permission from CNN's blog

A lot of people found the following material tasteless, and a worthy contender for the worst piece of writing category at the Razzies (if ever there was to be such a category). I personally felt the humor was on the lines of what i try to incorporate in my posts.

Title:- Bad Oscar Speeches

History is littered with the detritus of terrible Oscar speeches. Gwyneth Paltrow anyone? 

Winners are inevitably overcome, talk far too long, sob too much and generally just make you want to hit the mute button before your brain melts.

That charismatic, dreamboat of a person you idolized becomes a make-up smudged shadow of their screen glory with all the appeal of a screaming banshee (men and women).

With the Oscars only weeks away and keeping the above in mind, I’ve decided to pen my own Oscar speech just in case the day ever comes…

“Oh God. WOW. This is LIKE soooo amazing. I am a WINNER, which makes you all LOSERS. Oops, sorry. It makes a lot of you losers. I mean, what I wanted so say, is that this is just, I think, like, probably, the best moment in my life — no offense to my wife - but she knows what I’m all about.

“And that’s glory, and now I have it. Being a winner like me takes hard work, it has been back-breaking at times. I mean, some of you guys know what it’s like, $15 million a picture doesn’t spread that far these days. And working half the year in exotic locations is not what everyone imagines. And then there’s the week of humanitarian work a year; God! Sick and hungry people are such a drain aren’t they?

“Anyway, I digress, I’d like to thank everyone I’ve ever known though they’ve actually contributed nothing to my success — I got me here. I’m the one who does the acting.

“Some critics have called me the acting talent of my generation and, I have to say, I think they’re on the money.

“Which is why you losers, sorry, I mean the other people I have been delighted to beat to the best actor nod, shouldn’t be too downtrodden. You’ve done quite well actually. I’m not going to namecheck you all, because frankly, while I know your names, I can’t be bothered and I don’t really like you.

“I think I’ll put old Oscar here on the mantle piece next to the picture of me with Barack Obama. Obviously he and I have a lot in common, like winning, and I like to feel we’re on the same page when it comes to policy in the Middle East.

“Anyway, to cap off: I’m the winner here and fully expect to be back next year so don’t even bother renting yourself a suit. By the way, do you like mine? Aren’t you going to give me the obligatory standing ovation?”

End of copyright infringement.

Now then, what kind of people are they who find it non-hilarious? Do these people need an emergency dose of sense of humor or are these types better left alone, to become life long whiner(s) ? 

2) Funny forum talk:-

What makes the following IMDB forum discussion funny, is the innocence/ignorance/dumbness behind it

 

Board: Emmanuelle Chriqui

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View: thread | flat | inline | nest   Gay?   by DaniSwiftknife   (Sun Jun 15 2008 22:56:17) Ignore this User | Report Abuse Does anyone know if she's gay? She plays a lesbian or bisexual in a few roles...and it's not specified if the architect is a guy or a girl..just that she's dating an architect...  I was just curious.  and spare me on the 'well, tom hanks played a gay guy in Philadelphia, does that mean he's gay?' thing...because I'm legitimately curious if anyone knows.   Re: Gay?   by LiveRocker   (Mon Jun 16 2008 12:20:28) Ignore this User | Report Abuse She is NOT gay. I can assure you of this...  LiveRocker   Re: Gay?   by FilmJunkie24-1   (Tue Jun 17 2008 08:48:45) Ignore this User | Report Abuse im sure she's straight..but no one really knows...Hell Tom Hanks just might be gay plenty of guys are married with kids but are still gay   Re: Gay?   by DaniSwiftknife   (Wed Jun 18 2008 13:00:39) Ignore this User | Report Abuse I was just asking for some credentials/proof what have you...something more than speculation....   Re: Gay?   by a1991   (Wed Jun 18 2008 13:02:56) Ignore this User | Report Abuse http://www.womenshealthmag.com/life/emmanuelle-chriqui-interview?page= 2  The interviewer asks, "Did your boyfriend ever bristle at your working with only men?"  Emmanuelle answers, "No. We've been together for five years, and it's something you discuss in the beginning. If someone can't accept that, it's a problem. But HE'S an architect and HE'S very secure and successful in HIS own life. He knows that what I do for my job is just work."   Re: Gay?   by wrs_snd   (Sat Jun 21 2008 13:56:55) Ignore this User | Report Abuse Well, her bio on here DOES say that she is bilingual...   Re: Gay?   by DAMIAN001   (Sun Jun 22 2008 15:58:00) Ignore this User | Report Abuse Bilingual means you speak two languages dumbass.   Re: Gay?   by FilmJunkie24-1   (Sun Jun 22 2008 21:09:25) Ignore this User | Report Abuse "Bilingual means you speak two languages dumbass"  LMFAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! O MAN I HOPE THAT GUY WAS JOKING!!!!   Re: Gay?   by koffeenkreame41-1   (Sun Jun 29 2008 22:54:45) Ignore this User | Report Abuse Well, her bio on here DOES say that she is bilingual...  Bilingual means you speak two languages dumbass.  "Bilingual means you speak two languages dumbass"  LMFAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! O MAN I HOPE THAT GUY WAS JOKING!!!!  --------------  I hope he was, to, because that was so damn funny!!  ROTFFLMFAO!!!!!!!!  Holy sh!t, I nearly pissed myself, it's bisexual, not bilingual, how the hell did you get that mixed up? Oh, God, that was so damn funny. Bisexual means plays from both sides of the fence and bilingual means that she is well-versed in many languages. Oh, sh!t, that was funny, I can hardly finish writing this post. LOL!!

Laugh you miserly miser.

I keep doing this all the time, bah

The question which plagues any blogger, not feeling all at home with blogging for reasons he himself doesn't know, is what to post and what to not. Should i post this, should i not, why would anyone want to read this, why should i bother with who reads it, will i sound a bit too pessimistic or cliched or will i come across as a man desperate to sound different, should i really be using the same word twice in a sentence, am i repeating the same old phrases over and over again, has the novelty of my writing worn off  or the plain old but ever persistent: what's the purpose

All that melodrama to begin with (and now i have to refer the meaning of the word "melodrama" to see if it means what i think it means, damn you lack-of-confidence) but nothing much to follow it up with, just like an over-hyped India- Pakistan match, one might say. Now that analogy should have made you a bit more attentive, your back a bit straighter and the volume of the music a bit down, or i was mistaken in assuming you were passionate about Indo-Pak rivalry or quite simply, a silly cliched analogy doesn't arrest your attention. I personally believe it bodes you well if you belong to the last category. It's not that i've anything against those who are interested in this incessant, non-coherent, adjective filled blabber or those who are passionate about the rivalry.

Now then where was I, what to yedda yedda about next? Thinking aloud like this might help not only to lengthen your short-on-words posts but in certain cases, may also help your reader in getting a glimpse of your thought process. Ah well, i started writing this post with an intention to wite about what took place past friday but i got tangled up in this mangled mess and got carried away by this non-stop frenetic flow of blah blah blah.

I guess i was trying to compete with the way AB's going about his innings, should have been watching the match instead but the quality of the cable service in the campus makes it impossible to pick up the ball. May be the Parliament should look into the matter, as Champions League's (Ten Sports plzzz) gonna get underway pretty soon and what a bummer it would be for budding technical engineers if they are to miss out on football on TV. 

{Oh damn, AB's out. He would have been invaluable in the batting powerplay.}

With that innings-end, so does my motivation for further progress due to lack of competition.

p.s:- This is not the first time that i've posted a post with no substantial matter in it. May be i've abused this format too a wee bit. Anyway, it's for you guys to decide. Acting as a self critic has stagnated, it seems. 

p.s 2:- Ever notice my endings, they seem abrupt and not well-furnished. They are simply an excuse to conclude the post, as and when my patience runs out.

Poster suggestion for Rock Show

original image by Terrorblade.

guest author : Terrorblade