Tuesday, July 31, 2007

Pardon me

Over the past three days (during which i haven't written a post) , i have been receiving a lot of hate mail (one to be precise and it was not even a mail) addressing me to get on with my job which according to some, happens to be writing posts. It may sound funny people, but my existence ain't limited to the blogosphere.

You may be surprised to hear this, but i do live an ordinary life  (outside IIIT of course) during which i check into a rehab center every week-end.  This center happens to be my home where i am counselled every week-end regarding the importance  of  CGPA and some other trivial stuff which i don't even bother to re-collect. The moral of the story is that don't expect me to write a post on week-ends which kinda implies that i have time for blogs only in the campus.

Changing track,the convocation addresses by the dignataries were way below par for i cannot even recall a single innovative phrase used by the aforementioned. Speaking of innovative statements, let me share with you one from the movie "Departed" which goes something like " If you work hard, then you will rise as fast as a 12 year old's dick ". There is no need to feel offended as sex education is going to become a part of our school curriculum and such phrases may well become the spicy ingredients of our school pledge.

Speaking of graduation, i sort of graduated from a nokia 6030 to a 6300 which happens to have a really cool display screen alongside a 2 mega pixel camera . Too bad that the camera screams every time i take a picture. It would have been much better if it made no sound and in the process warn the prey.

Iraq have won the Asian cup (hurray!) for the first time ever in their history and Saddam Hussain deserves some praise for not interfering with the game (may be inaccurate). It would be something of a miracle if every squad member manages to hold on to his life till next year, considering the efficiency of the US peace keepers.

On a more selfish front, why don't i have a testimonial ? If i don't deserve it, then you can at least write one praising or criticizing my blogging skills.

Friday, July 27, 2007

What's the fuss all about?

Guess what people, we at IIIT-Hyd are going to be honoured by the graceful presence of Y.S.R for our convocation ceremony yet again.  I don't know about the feeling outside but there is sure to be a lot of anti-incumbency if he continues to attend our ceremony,  so much  so that  we may decide to  exercise our voting  rights.

I don't know what it is about bunking classes that one gets so addicted to it . But then one should be modest enough to acknowledge the role played by the concerned professor in the whole process.  I attend classes not for the fear of having to pay the price but for the fact that i have already paid the price.

The latest Harry Potter media edition has managed to attract the attention of many adults but has failed miserably to sustain it, which was quite evident from the large number of adults who left mid-way through the film. It is quite dissapointing to see our grown-ups being caught up in this media endorsed madness.

Having come so far , i would like to take my leave, which would leave you wondering what's all this fuss about

Thursday, July 26, 2007

Playing to the Gallery

I thought of not posting a post today lest it may become some kind of a stereotype but then who am i to decide what i do !!

I was literally forced to write another one mainly to extinguish the raging doubts in my readers' minds regarding the authenticity of my posts. The literary expressions may be a bit exaggerated but they stick faithfully to my experiences and feelings. If you are wondering what this crap is all about, then please refer to the title.

The thing is that, right now i am confident that you will read any crap that i post (not that i will) and i am just making the full use of my blogging acumen much like the Arctic Monkeys who released an album titled " Who The Fuck are Arctic Monkeys " just to cash in on their new found popularity following the release of their ground breaking debut album. Unfortunately their over-zealous marketing skills were critized by their counter-parts. But the good thing about that was ,their fans responded in an enthusiastic manner (hope you got it  :) )

I guess that this blog has been the only one so far which has been faithful to it's title.

Wednesday, July 25, 2007

Coldplay and crowded buses

The first thing i decided to do today was to tame the wild nature of my moustache which had encroached into the " no-hair " zone.  Unfortunately, symmetry deserted me at a crucial stage and i ended up with a moustache which looked as if  Hitler and Chaplin were on one side and Mangal Pandey and Veerapan on the other. I guess the tug of war between these stalwarts will last well into the week-end [:)].

These blogs of mine have so far run on my beginner's enthusiasm but since i am no longer a beginner, it is kinda up to you readers, to keep me going. Anyway, let me introduce my Probability professor who believes that one should torture themselves in order to gain pleasure (typical of a psycho don't you think). He also sounds a bit like spidey's uncle the exception being that, he says " with greater pressure comes greater responsibility".

Enroute to  secretariat from my college, i had the privelage of listening to Coldplay while negotiating the various pit falls associated with an over crowded bus . It atleast helped me in removing the frown off my face. On the return journey, i was unfortunate to be bestowed with the honour of travelling with a drunkard who kept reiterating to one of his wives (no wonder he was drunk) that he wasn't biased towards either of them, and the songs which he was singing were a far cry from those of Coldplay. I got so intoxicated by his presence that i gleefully got down much before my destination and made my way back walking in the company of Arctic Monkeys.

Do you remember those days, when we would flock around the enclosure of the hippo waiting for it to yawn and we were the ones yawning after a while ???

Well, we at IIIT Hyd are extremely proud to present to you, the most distinguished profs who have toiled away all these years to find a flawless solution to this problem. They have experimented on us so many times that even a dead man would yawn in the confines of his coffin in their presence.

For more information on our profs do check out our web-page which prides itself in the research being done here.

Tuesday, July 24, 2007

Critics create the coarse course of my blogs

Looks like my friends just can't get enough of me [:)].  They have suggested me to write more about myself rather than my views on general topics. It sounds fair enough but then, the blog would end up being a public diary stripped off the really personal details which in the first place make diaries more enticing to look back upon.

Anyway, what the heck, i am writing this just to spend away the surplus time which if not spent, may cause me to pay tax. So  from today onwards i will write mostly about myself ,until a new suggestion turns up . After all, blogging is just about bragging and all that matters is whether you can enthrall your audience for the brief but expensive amount of time they spend on reading your blog.

My first attempt at describing Life at IIIT was a runaway  success especially with the English professor going gaga over my "humorous descriptions". The irony of it all was that, my report gained some well-deserved attention only when one of my friends submitted the report under his own name, with my permission of course. I had earlier submitted that very same report in the first semester but my English professor didn't make much fuss about it. Later on, when my friend submitted it in the second semester to another English professor, it achieved its well deserved credit with the prof showering accolades on the creativity of the author (the prof had by the way, found out that my friend had copied it and when told that it had been penned down by a certain Rahul, she couldn't even recollect my face according to the witnesses).

Incidentally, when i had first submitted a rough draft , the only talking points were two phrases which went something like " C programming is a big pain in the ass/ arse (can't recollect which one i used!!!)"  and  "Jeevan Vidya Sucks" (which by the way is something  that is exclusive to our institute). The first phrase was a victim of censorship and unfortunately couldn't make it to the final draft.

Moving to sports, India were saved from the blushes of losing to an England team which happens to be with not even a single bowler who played a role in the immortal ashes series of 2005, and speaking  of the England cricket team, they seem to be following the premiership teams when it comes to squad selections with players of foreign origin out numbering the "local" players. There might come a day when they transform into a Arsenal who happen to play in the premiership with not even a single English player in their starting eleven.

Monday, July 23, 2007

Rain, Raikkonen n Reliability

The surreal run of Hamilton was bound to come to a halt but the way in which it ended was really unfortunate considering the fact that his position on the starting grid was compromised due to the slackness of his pit-crew. Having said this, he did bounce back by gaining as many as six positions in the first two corners of the race but once again, he was forced to slow down due to some technical glitch. When everything seemed to be back to normal, the clouds opened up and he found himself struck in the gravel trap and by the time the race restarted , he found himself two laps behind.

Raikkonen was back to his erratic best as he over-shot the pit lane and ended up doing an absurdly slow lap in the equally absurd wet track on his dry-weather tires. He somehow managed to claw his way back to third place before his reliable reliability problems forced him to retire.

Massa was in complete control right from the moment when he over took Alonso in the first lap but the race isn't a one lap show and the Brazilian was once again humbled by the hungry Spaniard who literally muscled his way past him with just a handful of laps remaining.

The race will mainly be remembered because of the havoc created by the rain and as the first non-podium finish of Lewis Hamilton.

"If the European GP were a movie, it would be a cult classic"--Steve Slater

Cult movie or not, it surely ruined the hopes of Raikkonen who started on pole and was looking good for a hat-trick of wins.  Marcus Winclehock deserves a special mention because he found himself leading the race after just four laps in a Spyker in his debut race.(That was something which even Hamilton couldn't achieve)

Friday, July 20, 2007


My peers think that i am a lazy guy but the truth (acc to me at least) happens to be that i myself undermine my efforts where as they tend to glorify their achievements, when it comes to the field of hard work.

With that matter settled, let me share my views regarding the fat paychecks which are being rolled out to the IT professionals these days. Frankly speaking, they  don't deserve it especially in a poor country like India,  notwithstanding the "high" growth rates of GDP and other related stuff. I am saying this because i am personally involved in one such "highly rated" IT institute  and the work which we do wouldn't even classify as work if compared with the jobs that other people do.

I personally feel that farmers should receive a higher amount than we people just because they do the most important  work of the society which incidentally also happens to be the toughest. The way in which they are made to live their lives is terrible and the way in which they end it is even more so. One may rubbish his troubles and chide him for being illiterate but the truth is, there would be no farmers if they get education since they would gleefully join the IT circus then.

Speaking of education, we should move over from capitalism to communism mainly because the "better" ones keep getting the better oppurtunities where as the not so fortunate ( or unfortunate) ones get stuck with the next best options.

Coming to sports, Argentina have somehow conspired to choke once again on the big stage against the lacklustre  Brazilians  who earlier in the season had to sweat it out to earn a draw against an  equally insipid England team which can do well by borrowing some Irish spirit who are making waves in the cricketing circles with their performances.

Sunday, July 15, 2007


Gone are those over-populated days when lack of family planning was the buzz word for every problem faced by our society.The present situation calls for a restriction on the number of automobiles that a family can own, preferably a car per family .

The above restriction might be unthinkable for the " creamy " layer of the society but if we don't take such drastic steps then we wouldn't be able to take even a single step forward in the already over-whelmed road ways of Hyderabad. More importantly,the lone beneficiary of such traffic snarls happens to be our rather under-estimated friend Mr.Pollution, who with his ever-expanding wealth can buy all of our lives when we are auctioned by our very own earth.

Once that's done, we can anxiously look forward to the settling of various law suits filed by messrs, Hell and Heaven over the legality of the ownership of our souls.

Unrelated Irony:- The most happening phrase in the literary circles these days, happens to be "to use the cliche" which can be found preceding every cliche. It is being used so frequently that it can well become the fastest phrase to earn the title of a cliche.

Friday, July 13, 2007

Starting Blues

I had a rather novel experience today in one of my classes, when i couldn't really understand whether i understood the point or not. I guess that the bar of indecision has risen to new heights not seen since the days of Hamlet.

I don't know why but this post ain't coming naturally to me, maybe i am already fed up with blogging.

I have made up my mind to try my best to improve my grades which have been embarrassing, to say the least, but  it  is easier written than done especially since these subjects don't fascinate me in any way paving the way for me in fantasising  that it would have been better if i had joined the adjoining HCU. I call it a fantasy because i was made aware of the existence of only two streams namely MPC and BiPC after my tenth. Infact, i was unable to decide which stream to take for quite a long time despite them being like chalk and cheese. But looking back, i can take solace in the fact that i would have fared hopelessly in either of them.

These pangs of pessimism have taken a hold of me and have ruined my aimless blog.

I shall be back with a better post (now that's optimistic)

Saturday, July 7, 2007


It is official folks, i am going nowhere. I signed a new deal earlier today which will see me stay here for atleast another six months, not that i had another choice but just in case.

Since i have not done anything today, i intend to describe a certain Vir Das who happens to be a Tv anchor
and is bound to give Cyrus a run for his money if he decides to really step in. Who is he?

He happens to host a program called " News on the loose" and if you wish, you can download his serioulsy funny wisecracks from virdas.com. He describes his web site as just another site on the web. Now, that may not be humility at its best but considering the web sites of some of my peers,thats quite a statement especially since all that one gets to see on people's personal sites is their name popping out from everywhere and running about mindlessly.This amazing phenomenon is amazingly prevelant in every page, very much like the corruption involved in all of our government papers.

Moving on to the print media, all that we get to see nowadays are news related to the not so lucky toddlers who end up
either being trapped in a bore-well or in swirling sewer, courtesy open manholes.These may be heart-wrenching for the near and dear but are somewhat amusing for the indifferent ones mainly because of the way they are telecast by the electronic media.

Gone are the good old days where one crossed the road after looking either side, these are the days in which one should also add a completely new dimension ,for who knows when a boarding might come crashing down to relieve you of your senses.

Friday, July 6, 2007

Never Mind The Title

First things first, the 'A' in my name is more of an article than an initial just because i like it that way.

I was in the company of my dearest friend "vacation" over the past three months. Unfortunately or fortunately,the time has come to bid him adieu rather prematurely. Going into this relationship, i had set myself certain goals but alas things didn't work out as i expected.

I wanted to obtain a membership in the wimbledon championships but all that i managed to acquire was a membership in the British library. I wanted to gain some experience in the skill of reading Telugu but i gained some experience in Shakespearean literature .I wanted to live a pro-active life but all that i did was " i ate, i slept and i excreted". Disgusting dude

Well moving away from my stinking self, the monsoon was here accompanied by floods, very much like brothers in arms unlike Mukesh and Anil who don't realise the agony they can unfurl amongst their counterparts by sticking together. It was a welcome change though to see our politicians use their common sense once in a while.(The above mentioned statement is in connection with Mr.Modi who escaped to Switzerland while his state was having a hell of a time in the hands of nature)

I had also become quite trigger happy during the holidays, so much so that, i took a shot at all the offers that were thrown my way. Firstly, i decided to take a membership in the British library just because it cost only Rs.1100 per annum.Secondly, i also subscribed to a magazine just because they had sent my father an application form. Both were completely unnecessary actually due to the presence of a "well equipped" library at my college which was, as a matter of fact, also pointed out by the librarian at the British Library.

Talking about shots, the crime situation in my beloved South Africa seems to have spiralled out of control with as many as 19000 murders being committed in a single calendar year.