Saturday, May 9, 2009

Methods that Aren't

What can an Institute do when it finds itself in the throes of economic distress. It can quite easily increase the fees and pass on the burden or, in a whole different plane of existence they can renounce all worldly possessions and continue to sit tight (pun intended).

So apart from the obvious what more can an Institute do gain some well-needed financial leverage. The following methods vary from the absurd to the true to the ones that are both

1) Every student giving a powerpoint presentation will be served an entertainment tax directly proportional to the duration of the presentation and the visual richness of the slides ranging from templates to images inserted and so on. A fixed base price is of course a must.

2) Why let all the vehicles into the campus without exacting any? Christen the entrance gate as a toll gate and make sure there aren't more than one entrances.

3) Maybe someone can look into the free unlimited web access and do something about it

4) When IPL comes to town next year, make sure to be there to collect your generous cheque

5) There's a TV show called Scrubs whose producers due to budget constraints decided to not include each protagonist in at least two of the season's episodes. Asking a couple of professors to take an unpaid leave every month might help. Of course, it is not implementable in colleges which have just the right number of professors. 

6) Instead of having a single technical cum cultural fest, a college can have two. This way more entertainment tax can be imposed. Introducing tickets for the events might also help but that might be against the very principles of having a celebration.

 7) If the college has a very well established sporting tradition with renowned trophy winning teams, sponsors for the teams' jerseys should be looked into. Football team, anyone ?

8) A college can always have a separate entrance exam and charge more than required. Getting a permission to do that might be difficult but proving that all students who come through the competitive exams aren't the right ones for upholding the ambitions of the institute might help. In fact, colleges aiming to turn their students into research scholars shouldn't participate with other run-of-the-mill degree offering and hand waving colleges.

9) Downsizing the staff might not be an option but cutting back on the number of air conditioners in a lab might help.

10) One can always go the EAMCET colleges way and put up some seats for auction.

11) A college can put up its hand and offer to train outsiders in various skills while completely turning a blind eye towards the qualms of the insiders regarding the intrusion.

12) With the sales of textbooks going down year by year due to e-books and students' apathy, it is high time a college gave away first hand books at a discount (sufficient enough to make profit both for the college and the seller).

13) A highly contentious but profitable move would be to introduce a contract where in the students when placed on campus must agree to donate some x% of their salary for their first year on the job. (Only implementable if the student goes on to take up the job acquired during the campus placements)

Time to conclude at lucky number 13. Have fun!

p.s:- With the organisers of Felicity '08 leaving, will blogging be of any essence ?

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