Sunday, June 7, 2009

Accidental Happenings

Going through a newspaper in the morning, you are bound to come across some sort of accident coverage and, what's the chance of the accident involving people travelling on a religious cause? Pretty high, I would say. Not that I'm hinting at anything but it's quite astonishing.

There they are, a large family unit, happily rattling along with either their sins washed away or due to be washed away in a few hours time when all of a sudden, wham! the driver runs into the back of a stationary truck* or makes the vehicle jump off a cliff.

One simple rational explanation to this unfortunate development might quite easily be that people undertake long distance travels by road only when they have an appointment with the God. Pretty neat explanation, isn't it? Unless of course you happen to be a conspiracy buff who would bring in the supernatural element even before you can exclaim 'WTF'.

Since we are already on the matter of newspapers, I would like to bring to your attention an incident of crime that was reported a week or so ago, which was reminiscent of a Quentin Tarantino/ Guy Ritchie style of film making. It allegedly went something like-

The bad guy wanted to shoot the poor innocent helpless guy in order to steal some money but he didn't want to wake the neighbours. Oh! how thoughtful, but too bad he hadn't thought as much before as he had no silencer to accessorise with his gun. However, being a quick thinker, the bad guy promptly reached out for a pillow and shot through it.

Now, imagine the bad guy's surprise when the bullet (not only failed to go in a complete circle and knock 6 brains out but) couldn't even pierce the pillow. The bullet which went in never came out and thereby the poor guy was robbed only of his money and not of his life.
Was that tragic or comedic or ironic ?

p.s:- Need help with commas, they are ruining the experience of writing.

Saturday, May 9, 2009

Methods that Aren't

What can an Institute do when it finds itself in the throes of economic distress. It can quite easily increase the fees and pass on the burden or, in a whole different plane of existence they can renounce all worldly possessions and continue to sit tight (pun intended).

So apart from the obvious what more can an Institute do gain some well-needed financial leverage. The following methods vary from the absurd to the true to the ones that are both

1) Every student giving a powerpoint presentation will be served an entertainment tax directly proportional to the duration of the presentation and the visual richness of the slides ranging from templates to images inserted and so on. A fixed base price is of course a must.

2) Why let all the vehicles into the campus without exacting any? Christen the entrance gate as a toll gate and make sure there aren't more than one entrances.

3) Maybe someone can look into the free unlimited web access and do something about it

4) When IPL comes to town next year, make sure to be there to collect your generous cheque

5) There's a TV show called Scrubs whose producers due to budget constraints decided to not include each protagonist in at least two of the season's episodes. Asking a couple of professors to take an unpaid leave every month might help. Of course, it is not implementable in colleges which have just the right number of professors. 

6) Instead of having a single technical cum cultural fest, a college can have two. This way more entertainment tax can be imposed. Introducing tickets for the events might also help but that might be against the very principles of having a celebration.

 7) If the college has a very well established sporting tradition with renowned trophy winning teams, sponsors for the teams' jerseys should be looked into. Football team, anyone ?

8) A college can always have a separate entrance exam and charge more than required. Getting a permission to do that might be difficult but proving that all students who come through the competitive exams aren't the right ones for upholding the ambitions of the institute might help. In fact, colleges aiming to turn their students into research scholars shouldn't participate with other run-of-the-mill degree offering and hand waving colleges.

9) Downsizing the staff might not be an option but cutting back on the number of air conditioners in a lab might help.

10) One can always go the EAMCET colleges way and put up some seats for auction.

11) A college can put up its hand and offer to train outsiders in various skills while completely turning a blind eye towards the qualms of the insiders regarding the intrusion.

12) With the sales of textbooks going down year by year due to e-books and students' apathy, it is high time a college gave away first hand books at a discount (sufficient enough to make profit both for the college and the seller).

13) A highly contentious but profitable move would be to introduce a contract where in the students when placed on campus must agree to donate some x% of their salary for their first year on the job. (Only implementable if the student goes on to take up the job acquired during the campus placements)

Time to conclude at lucky number 13. Have fun!

p.s:- With the organisers of Felicity '08 leaving, will blogging be of any essence ?

Possibly related post ->

Friday, April 24, 2009

Weighty Issues







The other day i stumbled upon an article in the Time magazine which aspired to guide one in the science of 'how not be hated by potential friends on Facebook'. (No, I'm not going to copy paste the article.)

One among the many of "Facebook etiquette rules" was->' Stop taking quizzes. Nobody cares what literary time period you are'. I personally log onto FB not to cuddle up to potential friends and flaunt my impeccable personality and leave an impression, but to see if any of my friends have taken any interesting quizzes.

Of course, there are the self-propagating all time favorite quizzes on ones favorites but who doesn't like to share their interests and favorites. When we do that, we don't give a damn to what the others might think !, it's just all about us. It's our way of feeding our ego (which BTW is being wrongly portrayed in a very narrow and negative way in most circles). We do take some really lame quizzes like "who's your celebrity GF" and "which rock song are you" but this behaviour is much better than, not taking them due of the fear of making a bad impression on possible suitors.

In short, it's better to "be yourself and act as a jerk" rather than "pretend to be a sensitive saint". [The phrase "be yourself" has been thrown around many times that I feel like it might have robbed the chastity of the declaration and turned it into a skanky filmy line.] (I do hope that you are smart enough to realise that taking those quizzes didn't make you a jerk, it was just an expression)

------------------------------>Change of  Topic


I watched the palm d'or winning movie of last year "The Class" recently and was astonished at the way the student-teacher interactions were depicted. The movie shows 13 year olds refusing to do what the teacher says proclaiming "rights of expression" and "rights of freedom" and all that. I can't even begin to imagine that kind of free expressionism in our country. The students do cross the limits at times but that's not the point.

I reckon we have been corrupted ever since childhood into believing the restrictions posed on us are for our own good and that our tradition is the best in the whole wide world. There are two ways, i guess, of looking at our culture, those in favour may say it breeds discipline but the others might say it curbs our natural development. 

A typical students' life in India (not related to the above discussion or anything):-

Thrown into school even before they know how to use the toilet. Parents then proudly exhibit their childrens' talent by forcing them to recite multiplication tables and English alphabet in front of the neighbours with the sole purpose of showing how smart their child is. Boys don't even get the remark of "you throw like a girl" from their fathers. All they get is "do your homework ". Then as they grow older, the coaching institutes come along and the parents are only too happy to find a place which provides for maximum jail time. Career defining exams come, unable to cope students go.

[ I've said all that as an adult watching today's school going children. Our generation was caught up amidst this towards the fag end but we might just have escaped.]    

As someone said and my friend on Gtalk statused*-> The world is a tragedy to those who feel, but a comedy to those who think.

P.S:- No matter what you write or do, how can IPL be not on your mind. Looking at AB, the customary " whom do girls ogle at" list for IPL came out and this was what was said about AB :-

If you like the choirboy type, AB is your baby. Incidentally he does sing, and while his debut single, "Show Them Who You Are", may not be the love song you were hoping for, it will work well enough to annoy your boyfriend no end. He looks like a dream and bats like a dream, so what if he doesn't sing like one, eh, ladies? 

The others on the list were Vettori, Dravid, Mccullum, Gayle, Sangakkara, Duminy, Pujara, Lee, Steyn, Dhoni (

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Blogging with eyes on Twittering

Blogging is out, Twittering is in. Funnily enough, the newspaper too said that.

IPL semifinalists:- Mumbai, Chennai, Delhi. Hyderabad in the early lead for fourth.

Did you know that rap stars release an album or two and go into producing, and help others in releasing their albums? I'm too kinda helping out others with their blog posts, instead of writing my own.  

Must have IPL merchandise:- RCB's jersey of Dravid and Deccan Chargers' trendy Puma cap.

Sorry to disappoint by not writing anything. 

Ferrari's struggling big time. My twitterings on the same:-

1) Brains in ferrari left with Brawn

2) What's Kallis doing in the playing XI and moreover, why's he slated to become the captain after KP leaves. Dumb as a Ferrari, it is

3) Super kings are wasting Albie!, looks like everyone's bought a Ferrari :(

4) 140 chars are way too short on space to roll out all the Ferraris from RCB's garage

Monday, April 6, 2009

Free net, Twitter & Football

I go home, switch on the laptop and there comes a prompt saying "wireless networks are available". I had ignored this message many times before as on one occasion before all these ignorings**, I had tried my luck and not succeeded. This time, however, things turned out a bit different and i became a lucky douche* enjoying free wireless net at home.

Ok then, i've got the net but what to do with it ?, there's no DC to download stuff from. Hmm, there's at least unblocked youtube. Oh boy, this touchpad's gone cuckoo. Whenever i go to its edges, weird processes begin and the browser's ending up getting closed. Goddamn this chrome, it doesn't even warn when closing multiple tabs. Watching videos in this kind of environment ain't possible. So what next? time to check out some new sites or attend to previously unattended twitter account. Ha, twitter's quite fun, you can type-in what you would say to the person next to you while watching sports on Tv (when there's no one next to you). Reminds me of the Vodafone ads.    

Previous night:-

Everyone in the house's gone to sleep. I'm all alone and no, i don't even have internet access. It's 80 minutes past kickoff time, Liverpool are yet to beat the crossbar/posts. I get up and go sit across the room hoping for a change in fortune. 90 minutes gone, no good. At least, Babel and Benayoun are on. Can't bear this misfortune sitting down, i stand up, 2 more mins pass, and Benayoun scores. Out comes a clenched fist and a bottle bounces off the furniture at the other end. 

Next night:-

Man Utd's taking on Villa, i'm not alone and i'm not apprehensive. 2 mins into the extra time, surely no, they can't but they do! No clenched fist or bouncing bottles this time around. 


*-> I was feeling better before i saw the literal meaning of this word. Those unaware are advised to remain that way.

**-> word doesn't exist

Song of the day-> Knocked Up- Kings of Leon 

I don't care what nobody says
We're gonna have a baby
Taking off in a coupe De ville
She buckled up on navy
She don't care what her mama said, no
She's gonna have my baby
I'm taking all i have to take
This takings gonna shape me

People call us renegade
'cause we like living crazy
We like taking on the town
Some people getting lazy

I don't care what nobody says, no
I'm going to be her lover
Always mad and usually drunk
But I love her like no other

And the doctor seems to say he don't know
Where we're gonna go?
I'm a ghost and I don't think I quite know
Where we're gonna go?
Where we're gonna go?

Monday, March 23, 2009

The Mail

"As you know people from the media, other colleges, and corporate sector are visiting our campus for the R & D showcase. Out of curiosity, they may ask you about this year's Campus Placement status. Most of you don't have an exact idea about this and so can end up in giving the wrong impression. So it is in the best interests of the Institute and students graduating in the subsequent years to answer such questions in the manner mentioned below.

Q: How are the Placements this year?

A: Just like the previous year - excellent! All the students have been placed.

Q: So placement is completed?

A: Yes, but I think the institute is thinking of doing a second round of placement in April / May to give (already placed) students better opportunities - better jobs, with better compensation.

Q: Any other questions about placement,

A: I don't about these, but I can connect you to the Placement Leads.


Thanks for the cooperation, and please keep in mind that current year's placement decides the success of the next year's placement. The better the public perception of the current year's placement, the better the chances of following batches' placement."


As they said, most of us don't have the least idea of what's the truth and how things really are. So keeping that in mind, it would be completely unfair of us to contest the mail content. What's the use, one might argue, of arguing about righteousness of the means when the end in itself is righteous. 

p.s :- The word "exact" was replaced by "least" as some of us felt that the mail was covertly hinting at this very thing, but was too polite and diplomatic/official/"responsible/mature" to say so.

Friday, March 20, 2009

The Inevitable

Didn't I ask you guys to pray for something ? Well, some of you didn't and look what has come about. You might say it provides them with an opportunity to avenge their last year's defeat but how sweet will the alleged revenge over a team who went through only because of an needless injury time OG be ?

Facing up against the team whom you have done a double over might have been more enticing. Hold on there a bit, didn't this team already do a double over the other team as well. Hmm, this team simply looks unstoppable. Anyway, the other team can be dealt with at the final but then losing to a better team in a final wouldn't be as humiliating to them as losing both home and away in a quarter final or even in a semi for that matter.

Now then, why am I even assuming that the other team will go to the final? It is true that the four teams in that part of the draw could so easily have been accommodated in the same group in the opening round but still, they have to get past them right. It is not as if they dealt their die-hard rivals a 4-1 drubbing at the away game. In fact, losing to one of these teams might be even more harder to digest.

Coming back to the match set up due to lack of co-operation from you people, it shouldn't be all that bad. Both teams look to have come alive in the recent past and the return of a certain Ghanaian might make the tie a bit more balanced than the BPL ties. The draw does make the path easy for the other team to reach consecutive finals but it also has chalked up a cracking lower half.

So whichever way you may look at it and whichever team you support, CL has once again shown why it just can't disappoint anyone.

p.s:- Teams' names are redundant for the fan

p.s2:- However I admit they would have helped