Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Monkey Chronicles *ing Dud(e)

"Leading a life governed only by the schedule of programs on TV" is what i am doing right now and thankfully, i ain't enjoying it.

Had i been enjoying it, i would have simply been a disgrace to myself. Having said that, just because not liking what you do doesn't let you escape from the fact that you are doing it in the first place. So, that implies that i still am a disgrace to myself.  (How can one be a disgrace to self ??!!!. I currently have no idea, i shall make it a point to bring it up the day i come to know)

Some random online dictionary describes vacation as:-

1: a respite or a time of respite from something

2: a period of exemption from work granted to an employee

3: a period spent away from home or business in travel or recreation

It is high time that some of these terms are re-defined for sloths who keep slouching all over the world these days.

Let's analyze the discrepancies of the above definition when applied to sloths a.k.a couch potatoes a.k.a douche bags a.k.a bloggers a.k.a programmers ( the last two entries may not be ideal but nevertheless, they are worth a mention).

Analysis of the above defns:-

Definition 1:- A sloth only knows how to not do anything and vacations certainly don't provide respite from that activity. If anything, they further feed the sloth's appetite for inactivity.

Definition 2:- A sloth does no work and is moreover not an employee. He is the Boss and he hardly needs any exemption from work!!

Definition 3:- A sloth never steps out of his home during vacation. So this "period" is purely fictional.

There we go, all that rubbish nonsense effectively rules out the application of that definition to a sloth. Come to think of it, I don't know why i am speaking about sloths right now especially when i have got so much to do.

Dude:- hey sloth, wassup??

Dud:- Now, why would you call me something like that. Have you been reading my blog?

Dude:- Shut up douche bag.  How dare you associate me with something as disgraceful as blogging?

Dud:- your choice of words is very singular, i must admit

Dude:- if you mean as opposed to plural, then yes it is.

Dud:- Now where did "plural" come from?$@@#@#! oh, never mind. Anyway, the one feeling which i get each each time a vacation's done is "where have all the days gone?"

Dude :- maybe you should begin your search by looking up your a** first. Too bad, it isn't as easy as Google search.

Dud:- What the heck? That was a sincere Query

Dude:- So here's a sincere Return. Stop thinking of "what was", just think about what is and what is to be

Dud:- Look who's talking. It's none other than the monkey who sold his ferrari

Dude:- LOL , up yours mate

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