Best of September of last year (part-1)

I want to update my blog but i don't feel like writing. So i am going to take the easy way out and dig in to my older entries :( 

Lame ? yes, but surely better than nothing

Same time last year i was on a posting rampage and that too when my blog had barely any visitors. You see, back then i was yet to know about the existence of a college blogroll and moreover, my friends didn't (read :don't) give a damn.

Best of September of last year:-

Context :- End of third sem Mid-sems

Content -> I write this post wondering whether i burned my tongue or the roof my mouth. The culprit was by the way, not a hot lady (raunchy thoughts, huh), it was just some really hot food. The taste was anything but hot but then what can one expect in a canteen of a research institute. Having said that my performance in the gone-by exams was as tasteless as the aforementioned food.

I know that you don't give a damn about my screwed up grades but anyway, i would like to elaborate a bit on my quite dumb exploits during the course of my exams. First of all, gone are those days when i used to attend classes only for attendance, these days it seems that i even attend exams just for the sake of attendance. The only thing which i usually get right in the examination hall , is my signature on the attendance sheet.

This may feel funny but it damn sure ain't funny. So what do i do during the whole exam, i just keep pondering over how i managed to get myself into such a hopeless situation in the first place. May be this place ain't for me, may be i am so irresponsible or may be i should work hard the next time or may be i should just stop this non-sensical chain of may-be's.

Whatever i do or don't do, this blog will keep getting updated as long as i continue to stay in this non-hot college of mine. I am actually quite amazed that terrorists haven't struck during the past week when festivities reached a feverishly high state.

Context:- Pre mid sems and post WLAN installation in OBHEB

Content-> I have my mid-sems from the day after the day after tomorrow and my preparation is as patchy as this opening sequence. This may not sound original at all, since almost all of your friends must be humming these words in your ears 24 X 7. On the bright side, the exams will last for only three days and they will quite surely disappear into the distant horizons  of my mind, even before i realize what hit me.

I feel like a scavenger right now, feeding on the bits and pieces of wireless signals left unconsumed by my peers. This was supposed to be the case prior to the installation of the wireless routers (in my block) but my condition continues to be the same, thanks to the highly ineffective "state of the art" equipment. Having said that, scavengers tend to lose the art of appreciation after a course of time, which makes them incapable of even distinguishing between the good and rotten food.

Context:- Reviews of FIFA 08 demo and Tarantino's Deathproof

Content-> There is no need to buckle up your seats or anything, for the reviews, are for two completely insignificant man made creations. The first one amongst this happens to be FIFA 08 (demo version). Having been addicted to this game for the past season, i have to say that the new one ain't so different from the old one.

The major and most interesting change has to be the one done to the goal-keeper who has been designed to be a more pro-active figure unlike the previous editions where he almost never left his line. Since i have played only the demo version i haven't had a chance to find out about the new " Be a Pro" feature where you get to play with a single player for the whole course of the match.

Coming to the visual aspect, the turf seems greener and the stands seem fuller but the clarity has clearly gone astray. I am hoping that, that won't be the case with the full version.

The other review is concerned with the Tarantino part of " Grindhouse" namely "Deathproof ". True to his usual conventional style,Tarantino has managed to churn out yet another unconventional movie. (I am not complaining though)

The beginning part of the movie runs solely on the finer side of feminism (which happens to include some vulgar yet appealing body movements designed to present the character as bootylicious). The fun really begins in the "after six months" segment where the director moves away from the ladies' tushies (finally) to concentrate on some freaky car rides.

I would have dismissed this movie as thrash except for the last 30 mins which are really fun to watch. I would recommend this movie only to men, as women might find this one a bit offending. Go ahead gentlemen , have a blast :) .

Context:- Present Day

Content:- Enough for today, see you later

Philosophy, UG3 and a three point blah

Is blogging on a day when everyone's busy blogging a bright choice ? Isn't there a risk of your blog getting drowned in amidst all the view points being strewn around as if there would be no other day to blog?

Anyway, i respect the initiative taken and this is the least that i could do.

1) Philosophical Blah ?:-

We are born, cared,clothed, fed, cleaned, fed more, enrolled, praised, scolded, appreciated, ridiculed,failed, passed, elated, selected, counselled,ragged, "enlightened", celebrated, assessed, questioned, hired, loved, fired, dumped, re-hired, retired, admitted, cried, stereo typed but not once, do we look at the big picture.

For a child, a big picture is that which hangs on his bedroom wall. For a young student, the big picture is marks. For a teenager the big picture is trying to appear cool. For a young man, the big picture is career and thus, each stage of our life passes on but ultimately, at the end of the day all that there is, is a life wasted.

Why do people immerse themselves in meaning-less activities like learning about things which they know they won't be doing/using? Let me tell you a story.

Long Long ago but not so long ago when monkeys had evolved into humans and humans having eaten Center fresh had domesticated donkeys and farmed and discovered and invented and industrialized and termed themselves Civilized, a blunder came into being and the blunder kept growing everyday because no human cared to stand up to it and those who did were dismissed as sinners /outlaws/losers. Thus, we are where we are. (end of story)

We study hard through out our childhood and then we work even harder through out our adulthood and then we live no more. For a child who enjoys reading and for an adult who enjoys working, this system is fine, error-proof, stainless steel and what not, but for those who don't like the whole concept of forced academics, 9-5 work and many other such established notions this life is just a Circus.

Originally, i had planned to elaborate the above views and come with a counter-perspective for the same, but having learned that Gandhi(ji) also had some similar thoughts about civilization i decided not to dwell on the whole issue. Just for the record, Gandhi(ji) came up with his theory after spending many years in rascist RSA where as i came up with something similar after just a couple of years in this College. (No inferences are encouraged)

2) UG-3 (exclusive) Blah:-

What's wrong with UG-3? They seem to be obsessed with the usage of terms like "power thirst" and "politics". Until yesterday this disease was foreign to the "southerners" but the anticipatory "over hyped" CR elections saw to it that no one was left untouched.

First it was for Felicity, now it is for CR, devil knows what they'll end up fighting for next time around. As a matter of fact, if Blogging were to be considered seriously by them, they might even blame the adjudicators of the "Blog of the Week" of indulging in power hungry politics.

3) A 3 point Blah:-

i) Prevention is better than Cure

ii) What cannot be prevented must be cured and what cannot be cured must be endured

iii) What cannot be endured must be endured with a greater effort

There's just no escaping (I say it once again, inferences are not encouraged).

p.s:- I'm also aware of the advantages associated with blogging today. SO please don't waste your time by trying to point them out.

p.s 2:- The usage of the term "philosophy" is debatable

Rules of the House for the Squatters of the Fifth House and a "tag line"

It seems that the existence of a fifth House was mooted* recently at a "Parliament session". I don't exactly know what else was said about it since i wasn't there. I am actually nowhere at most of the times and that makes me a faithful member of this "fifth house".

Before i became a member of this fifth house, i was put into a house well known for it's notoriously non-functional intake . On hindsight, me being put up there was a masterstroke from whoever concerned with such putting up activities. You must be knowing that it is okay for a Jew to joke about a Jew, himself being a Jew. So it must also be okay for me to joke about my non-fifth house having been a member of it myself.

"But who am i to comment on their performance and what worth would such comments be since i myself don't perform". To clarify matters, I am not a student of this school of thought and secondly, You would have no objection to the things written here if you too weren't one. Anyway, i ain't gonna comment on the show put up by this house on Fresher's Nite. So irrespective of which school you hail from, you shouldn't be having any objection(s).

So changing tracks and jumping on to the bandwagon of the fifth house, let me propose a few basic rules for this house:-

1) No member shall ever participate in any inter-house events and it would be better if one didn't even know about them in the first place.

2) The membership of the house should be strictly confidential and the members are supposed to move under the cover of other houses (we all know which house has the biggest umbrella for this purpose).

3) Thou shalt be ashamed not for being such an inactive component and non-existent participant.

4)Thou shalt observe "International Day of Apathy" every day.

5) Finally, excessive amateurish usage of Shakespearean may lead to nauseousness and should be avoided at all times.

p.s 1:-Is this post a plausible entrant for the "Blog of the week" event?, I couldn't have cared less

p.s 2:- Will the above p.s have any bearing upon the verdict ?, once again i couldn't have cared any less

p.s 3:- My non-existent brother aged 2, came up with a tag for Felicity (aah, the mention of the name brings back sweet memories) and it goes something like

Felicity->no need for any publicity

(* denotes the words whose usage i have no idea about, but nevertheless ended up using).

Larks and Owls and a whole lot of Howlers

So are you a lark or an owl? i say what difference does it make whether you sleep early or get up late. One feels drowsy either way in the classroom!! (that happens to be the general opinion by the way).

Even if the authorities concerned think otherwise it would be hard (read impossible) for them to force their ideas upon students who believe that the base camp for their ascent towards the heights of "coolness" can be established only by ridiculing the college authorities (if you disagree with the mentioned attitude of students, then may god bless you for you are the rare exception and also the real thing).

Anyway this endeavour of Larks Vs. Owls has resulted in the class hours being restricted and has in turn seriously jeopardised the prospects of those hunting for a viable elective/HSSM. To begin with there were only seven courses to choose from and just when you thought that things couldn't get any more messed up, this crammed time table came along, which not only further limited the options but also left room only for those courses which ironically have no room to accommodate the 100 odd students registered.

[ They say that you should have an idea as to whom you are addressing while you write, but having read the opening passages, i am not sure who the honored ones are]

In addition to all of this there comes a mail from Mr.G claiming that more than 60 students for a course is a no-no. If you are any good at math you will have no difficulty in grasping the idiocy reeking(sorry, pounding) behind the whole procedure. 

A note:- Do not lose sleep over the sleeping patterns of the students because they are old enough and (should be) responsible enough to take care of their own a**es. The implementation of any kind of a rule would be completely unnecessary and uncalled for because if you do it, then they wouldn't learn to deal with their own problems. What the heck, the guy causing disturbance would only be a fellow student and if they can't work that out then god knows who can help them out.

p.s Ever heard of the term "symbiosis"?

The alternate blog updated

New post at http://arcticmonkey.wordpress.com

I ain't gonna tell about what it is because i don't want you to formulate the view of "who cares" based solely upon the topic. Well, the whole concept of trailers is based upon giving a "sneak-peek" into what's in store but i ain't gonna go that way because most of them mislead and i don't intend to do so.

Dentist visited

"Hey, how about a movie tomorrow morning", " No man, i've got an appointment with my dentist".

Truth be told, i haven't been able to turn down any such request over the past 3 months and this impending visit to the dentist gave me an opportunity to do so but sadly not one soul was free to ask me in the first place. That in essence has been the story of this vacation, me searching for a companion only to find out that each one of them is busy with some project/ internship/ some other equally important "career building" errand.

Anyway, this was my first trip to a dentist (technically it was the second trip, i had gone yesterday but right at the moment when the machine* was about to make an impression, there was a power cut, so i had to return with no work done) and i have to say that i must have seen one a lot earlier considering the condition of some of my teeth which have been in a despicable condition right since my high school days. Maybe "despicable" ain't the right term to describe their condition but i don't want to get into all those details since it might make a piece of unnecessarily disturbing information for those interested in me :) (cheeky)

So why did it take all these years to visit a dentist ? It was due to a certain gentleman named Ogden Nash who so convincingly dismissed a trip to a dentist as a painful experience. I wouldn't call the experience painful but when i come to think about it, it does leave me bit uneasy. In fact, at one stage the smell emanating from the procedure was so stifling that it reminded of a boat trip taken down to Lord Buddha.

Here's the man (not Lord Buddha but Mr.Nash) himself speaking:-

This is gonna hurt just a lil bit

One thing I like less than most things is sitting in a dentist chair with my mouth wide open.

And that I will never have to do it again is a hope that I am against hope hopen.

Because some tortures are physical and some are mental,
But the one that is both is dental.
It is hard to be self-possessed
With your jaw digging into your chest.

So hard to retain your calm
When your fingernails are making serious alterations in your life line or love line or some other important line in your palm;

So hard to give your usual effect of cheery benignity
When you know your position is one of the two or three in life most lacking in dignity.

And your mouth is like a section of road that is being worked on.
And it is all cluttered up with stone crushers and concrete mixers and drills and steam rollers and there isn’t a nerve in your head that you aren’t being irked on.

Oh, some people are unfortunate enough to be strung up by thumbs.
And others have things done to their gums,
And your teeth are supposed to be being polished,
But you have reason to believe they are being demolished.

And then at last he says That will be all; but it isn’t because he then coats your mouth from cellar to roof
With something that I suspect is generally used to put a shine on a horse’s hoof.

And you totter to your feet and think. Well it’s all over now and afterall it was only this once.
And he says come back in three monce.

And this, O Fate, is I think the most vicious circle that thou ever sentest,
That Man has to go continually to the dentist to keep his teeth in good condition
when the chief reason he wants his teeth in good condition
is so that he won’t have to go to the dentist.

p.s 1:- A portion of the poem has been edited out

p.s 2 :- For those interested in me , there's no reason for you to feel betrayed since my teeth are back in prime and you can duly forget that this post ever existed.

p.s 3:- I'm currently reading "Midnight's Children" which indulges in the usage of narrative difficult to comprehend. I don't know how much it influenced me but the result is there for you to see.

Song of the day :- Teddy Picker (Arctic Monkeys)

First dig at non digital diary

Originally written during the days of IPL and kept under wraps due to lack of digitalisation facilities.

Why am i using a pen to pen my thoughts when i could have so easily used the keyboard. There are surprisingly many reasons behind this exercise of which some are quite reasonable - for a change.

Firstly, i have been spending a lot of time in front of the tiresome trio* that any time spent away from them is a welcome respite. Secondly, i also thought that this little exercise can go a long way in helping me improve my handwriting which as of know resembles any of the many incoherent scribblings expected from a bottom of the class kindergarten student. (p.s:- i was an excellent student during my schooling days, so that rules out self reference in the above case)

I have to admit that this gel pen ain't helping my cause. If this pen were a human being and i were a famous person i would have had no hesitation in filing a defamation suit (but as it stands both seem quite improbable with one of them even more so than the other).

Anyway, the other reason as to why i resorted to this was due to a belief that handwriting is influenced by a person's way of thinking and vice-versa. As of now, all of my letters slant towards the left. This phenomenon not only makes my handwriting look ugly but also projects me as a negative thinker. Well, i used to be negative in the past but these days i am only unsure.

So one of my aims, before i undertook this 'venture' was to correct the slant and thereby my attitude. Sadly, my hand is refusing to budge and i as a result am just as pessimistic as before. Maybe i should make a serious effort at buying for myself a cursive handwriting book before the vacation runs out. Once that is done, i can sit back and decide what to do with it.

* TV, Laptop, Desktop

p.s:- I have digitalised the post for reasons quite obvious.